- You believe in freedom of speech except for anyone that dares disagrees with you.
- You think the words "separation of church and state" are in the First
Amendment of the Bill of Rights.
- You believe collusion is impeachable even though you don't know what it means.
- You believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.
- You believe that money is the answer to everything, and if you throw enough money at a problem you can
fix anything, even the truth.
- You believe that terrorists kill innocent people because they are misunderstood.
- You believe that the same teacher who can't teach your kids how to
read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more
of a threat than illegally-obtained guns in the hands of criminals.
- You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
- You believe that it is O.K. for you to lie to further your point of view, but it is wrong
for other people to tell the truth to further a different point of view.
- You believe that it is O.K. for illegal immigrants to live in the United States as
long as they live very, very, very, very far away from you.
- You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical,
documented changes in the earth's climate, and are caused by soccer moms driving
SUVs.
- You believe that gender roles are artificial, but changing sex by surgery
is natural.
- You are against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand
and instantly pulling the plug on anyone who falls into a coma.
- You believe that businesses create oppression, and governments
create prosperity.
- You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but activists who have never been outside of a city do.
- You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing
something to earn it.
- You believe that the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
- You believe it was legal. for Bill Clinton to send U.S. troops into a new war without
Congress' approval every nine
weeks, but it is illegal for a Republican President to send troops anywhere, even with
Congress' approval.
- You believe it is O.K. for a Democrat to lie, cheat, and steal, because their heart is
in the right place, but any Republican should be thrown into federal prison for incorrect
spelling.
- You believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution.
- You believe that taxes should be raised on anyone that makes more than you.
- You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and
Thomas Edison.
- You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas
and set-asides are not.
- You believe that every plan Republicans make is a bad idea, but you
cannot form any plan of your own whatsoever.
- You believe that giving the government complete control over everything you do is a good idea.
- You believe that the entire Patriot Act is wrong even though you've never taken five
minutes to read it on the Internet.
- You believe that manipulating other people through guilt is O.K. if it gets you what you want.
- You believe that allowing the Army to invade a state illegally
without the governor's approval is O.K., and is better than actually getting a governor who is willing to call greyhound buses to transport natural disaster
victims to medical help and living stations they had prepared ahead of time.
- You believe that you can blame the President for the failure of a
state or local government's to do what they're legally obligated to do.
- You believe that the only reason that socialism fails whenever it's
been tried is because people like you haven't been in charge.
- You believe conservatives that tell the truth belong in jail, but a
Democrat that's liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
- You believe that a conservative accused of any crime is
guilty, but a liberal convicted and sentenced based on video evidence is innocent.
- You believe that LGBT parades should be constitutionally protected, but manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.
- You believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by Chinese and Russian
governments is in the best interests of the United States, but a Republican politician found in the same room as a
Russian should be impeached
- You believe that emotions, not facts, should affect objective decisions, regardless of who gets hurt.
- You believe that Tony (Frank Sinatra) in the movie A Hole in the
Head is victimized.
- You believe that this list is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
You Might Be a Democrat If
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