101+ Exotic Dancer HINTS

The older the man is, the more he wants both a personal and emotional relationship with the exotic dancer and the less likely he is to tolerate any bullshit. And, believe me, he will watch how you treat other customers!

Most of these hints work in a range of environments. Only a dancer can decide what's over the edge for her, but the risky hints end with a WARNING. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, DON'T.

And, for the Computer Age, for those girls that like to play dirty, keep this in mind:

It is not 1993 anymore. There is absolutely no way to guarantee your personal privacy, and no amount of sweet talk, Hell's Angels boyfriends, or Strip Club security can keep your identity hidden from someone that is really driven. And the dancers that don't believe this are the ones that have the most to fear. (In the interest of dancer safety, I will not answer any "who" or "how" questions about this.)

The Smart Exotic Dancer's Guide to Protecting Your Privacy

• Never, ever give out your telephone number to someone you would not sit down at a StarBucks and have a cup of coffee with if you met him outside the club. And get a free email account.
• Never give out your real birth date.
• Cultivate a real friendship of one of the bouncers. Only let him walk you to your car. In some clubs you have just as much to fear from the employees as the customers.
• Don't let any customers see you get into your car. And watch for strip club employees that are watching you.
• You want to not be recognized when you drive off. Either grow your hair long enough to cover your face, or, wear a hat that can cover your face as you drive off. Safest bet is to leave the club with little or no makeup.
• Never work for a strip club where the DJ can get access to your personal information. As a rule, if the DJ can get it, it's not well protected. In a strip club, your personal info is only as safe as the weakest employee that has access to it that can be bribed, cajoled, or conned into giving it out.
• Learn how to make a telephone call without sending your caller-ID information.
• Manage your personal situation so that you can quit working at one strip club and work at another one at a moment's notice. If you can't do that, it's O.K. to change your dance name so that a problem customer can't call in to ask if you're working.

Las Vegas Strip Clubs

About Las Vegas Strip Clubs: Las Vegas dancing is a whole new thing itself. While Las Vegas strippers are highly predatory towards customers, they are ruthlessly cruel to other strippers (because while they want customers to come back, they want other strippers to die. Really.). If you want to be an exotic dancer in a Las Vegas strip club you must have a very thick skin. If you are new, be prepared for other exotic dancers to work aggressively against you - even if they are friendly to your face. Las Vegas is no place for weak dancers.

To a lesser extent, this can also apply to strip clubs in Los Angeles, Dallas, and Atlanta. As an exotic dancer, the other dancers are not necessarily your friends, and it can be safer to trust a customer rather than another dancer.

O.K., now that that's out of the way, let's get to the good lap dance stuff:

Lap Dancer Advice

Lap Dancing changes a girl. Her self-esteem is on the line every night. You can never predict what you'll be or who you'll turn into, next year. Its tough being an exotic dancer. It's even tougher if you do not have a plan for your life.

• I've seen girls make a lot of money in two years and get out. Once they're out, they stay out.
• I've seen girls that used to be the queen of the club, wind up broke & overweight because they believed it would be forever but they never had a plan.
• If you are going to dance as a career, do not drink heavily. Exercise, eat right, and plan your life.
• If you don't want to dance for a career, set realistic goals as to how much you will put away and what you will do after dancing.

Definition: Guys with Money, as used on this page, are experienced strip club regulars that will keep coming back to see you. I'm not talking about a guy that will just tip you $300 one time. I'm talking about a guy with extra money that goes to strip clubs regularly and develops regular girls he goes to see. Unlike most customers, he is not stupid and he has seen all cons. I'm talking about guys that will easily help you make your rent, car payment, and utility bills. Believe me, they are still out there, and many girls don't realize where he is sitting in the club right now because these guys are very smart and very picky, and stupid strippers blow the opportunity right away.

APPEARANCE

1. Use lipstick that won't rub off easily: Less is more. If you get it on a guy's shirt and he gets in trouble he'll blame you.
2. Forget the two-tone lips: It's too hard/exotic for most guys.
3. Skip the perfume: It's worse than lipstick. Remember guys can't smell as well as their wives can. They don't even know they're going to be in trouble! Or only put perfume where it can't rub off - your shoulders, waist, ears, back.
4. Skip the glitter: It sticks to everything.
5. No tattoos: The more money a guy has, the less he likes them.
6. No piercings: The more money a guy has, the less he likes anything beyond ear lobes and belly buttons.
7. Don't smoke: It makes your teeth yellow and your breath stink.
8. If you do smoke, ask if it's okay and blow it the other way, then use mouthwash later.
9. If you smoke, say you want to quit: You should want to quit.
10. Don't chew gum: It makes you look cheap.
11. Watch your breath. Most guys won't tell you that you've got bad breath, they'll just stop asking for dances. Use Certs: it shows you're trying. Always brush your teeth or use a mouthwash every few hours.
12. Wash and re-apply deodorant: It's easy to smell "off" after you really get into it.
13. Never use F*ck/Sh*t words. If he wants you to say them privately, your public restraint makes it more fun.
14. Look relaxed and confident: Guys with money like the look.
15. If you wear a cross around your neck, make it a small one: It invokes guilt in some guys; in other guys it makes you seem innocent and makes him like you more. A small cross is a good compromise.
16. Don't let guys slobber on your chest & breast. If they do, make sure to wash after your strip tease dance. To other guys it smells disgusting.

HELLO

1. Make eye contact and SMILE: Have a big real smile for someone new, because he might turn out to be wonderful.
2. Ask if he'd like company before sitting down.
3. Always try to sit to his right: Guys are used to having women on their right side; it's where the girl is when the guy is driving his car.
4. Always ask for a drink, never order one and assume he'll pay. Guys with real money are very sensitive to being taken advantage of.
5. Hold his hand: It shows affection and gives you control.
6. Tell him your club name and ask his name: Then use his name in conversation to be personal and reinforce your memory.
7. If you tell him your real first name, say it quietly: It shows you're a real person.
8. Don't give your "real name" too quickly. Guys with money will know it's a fake real name.
9. Tell him you're here to make him happy: Say it any way you like.
10. Ask if he's in town on business: If he's not, do not ask where he lives. This is especially important in Las Vegas.
11. Do not ask him about work; he's there to get away from work. This is especially important in Las Vegas.
12. Do not ask him if he's married! This is especially important in Las Vegas!
13. Tell him you're shy: Most men are shy, too.
14. Be sexy affectionate rather than sexual: Coyly play with his face and shoulders.
15. Ask his preferences: Unless it's Las Vegas, most men like any exotic dancer who's nice to them, but some have highly defined preferences, such as slender dancers with dark hair or whatever. Never ever take it personally. Help him find what he likes.
16. Ask him to tell you whatever he wants about himself: Don't ask for more.
17. If he's clean, kiss him on the cheek if you've never seen him before (unless you're in Las Vegas).
18. Always reward him for saying something nice about you: Give him spontaneous hugs or gently kiss his cheek

GETTING TO KNOW HIM

1. Give him your undivided attention: Guys hate it when your friends interrupt. Guys with money don't have time for that.
2. Don't let your friends interrupt while he's talking to you. Guys with money get insulted. Tell your friend "excuse me, but I'm busy right now".
3. Guys without money don't mind when your friends interrupt, because they get to stretch the time they spend with you without spending cash!
4. Talk about friendships: Tell him you learn from guys you meet.
5. Tell him about the good deals: Like 2 for 1 dances in ten minutes
6. Tell him you like his shirt: Feel it, touch at least one nipple.
7. Wear his jacket if it's cold: Now you're inside him.
8. Play with his tie: Say something nice about it.
9. Don't look at the label of his tie. Guys that frequent strip clubs know that you're checking out if the tie is expensive or not, and may be insulted.
10. Lick your lips slowly.
11. Rub his back: Just enough to make him want more.
12. Encourage him to be open: He can whisper what he likes.
13. Talk about anonymity: Prove you understand the rules.
14. Emphasize that you're discreet: Tell him similar men trust you.
15. Never talk badly about another dancer: it proves you're indiscreet.
16. If he says you remind him of a celebrity, smile, thank him and kiss him on the cheek. Don't ask him if you look like a different celebrity.

STRIP CLUB REGULARS

1. The best way to make big money is to cultivate regulars that see you as a person.
2. Take notes about him and consult them: Keep a small locked notepad in a very safe locked place.
3. Always tell him you missed him and he's fun: That says you didn't just miss his money.
4. Have special smiles for regular customers: Impish, a big broad grin, or any other kind of personalized smile that he likes. Stay away from goofy smiles that are non-sexual.
5. Give him a big hug when you first see him. It makes him feel wanted and lets the other girls know he's yours. This is especially important for short-term regulars in Las Vegas.
6. If he's your regular customer kiss him near the corner of his lips
7. Wave to Regulars: They really must be recognized as special ASAP.
8. If you tell him you want to be his friend, be very careful how you say it, because guys are used to hearing this as a rejection line. Say it sexy, kiss him near the corner of his lips, or give him a quick grind after you've said it.
9. Never, ever call him "nice". The reason should be obvious.
10. Ask your Regulars which of your outfits they like and write this down in your notebook: This tells you which outfits flatter you the most & make you more money. Better yet, next time you see him, change into an outfit he likes and tell him you wore it because it's his favorite. He'll feel obliged to get a dance.
11. Never tell him you'll be dancing on a certain night if you are not absolutely positive you'll be there: if you don't show up he may think you're not dependable. Worse yet, another dancer may get to him that night and you may lose your Regular.
12. Even your loyal regulars have days when they prefer someone else. He will feel guilty. It's important to let him know it isn't a problem. Stop by to see him occasionally and kiss him on the cheek. Tell him the next time you're dancing: you're telling him you're not possessive, while also building loyalty and trust in his mind.
13. If you give a fetishist his fantasy you can ignore most of what is on this list because all he cares about is his fantasy and nothing else.

WHO YOU ARE

1. Tell him what you are or what you want to be: Never identify yourself as just a dancer. Most guys are willing to see you as a person if you let them see you as a person.
2. Talk about what you believe in, your values. Stay away from religion and sports.
3. If you make up an outside occupation or a place you've been, be prepared to discuss it in detail.
4. Guys with real money will lose interest if they catch you in a blatant lie. They won't call you on it, but they will immediately lose interest. There is no way to recover from this.
5. If you don't drink, explain why: You're a responsible person who drives home after work.
6. Don't play "poor me" games: Every guy has heard them. And they don't work as well as they used to.
7. Never tell him how you haven't made any money that night: it may backfire if he thinks you can't get dances because there's something wrong with you.
8. Tell him you don't do drugs (you shouldn't), but admit weed if you smoke it.
9. If you're a single mom, tell him: It's a plus among older guys. It means you really have to be responsible. (except in Las Vegas).
10. Tell him you're dependable and a favorite of the house mother: Guys invest in dancers they can depend on.
11. Make sure you're comfortable with whatever you tell him about yourself: If a guy thinks you're feeding him a line, he'll stop seeing you as a person.

MARKETING YOURSELF

1. Whenever you're alone in the club, remember to smile: Look like someone who is interesting to get to know.
2. If the crowd isn't buying dances, don't be seen working the room from one end to another asking everyone for dances. Many guys like being asked if they want a dance, but he won't be flattered if he's the 20th person you've asked. Ask three or four guys in one part of the room, then sit for a few minutes & work another part of the room.
3. Don't underestimate the value of internet forums to attract Guys With Money that are shopping (see "Little Things That Kill Your Income")
4. All things being equal, guys prefer girls with long hair.
5. If you get lots of single lap dances but no repeats, you need to learn how to lap dance better.

THINGS THAT KILL YOUR INCOME
Ever hear the story of the little frog trying to jump out of the well? For every inch she'd jump forward, she'd fall two inches back. That's exactly what these are like. You get a short term temporary gain, but a long term loss.

1. If a customer buys $30 worth of dances and gives you two twenties, always ask him if he wants change. If you keep his $10, not only will be probably never get dances from you again, but if he's with friends he won't recommend you to his buddies. Worse, he might cause a scene that will warn other guys to stay away from you. Trust me on this.
2. Unless you have a poor body, don't surprise someone new by sticking your face in his face and asking if he wants a dance. Most Guys With Money will give a fast automatic, defensive "No".
3. Don't get caught in a bold-faced lie. Some guys don't care, but many will immediately lose all interest.
4. Never do anything that assumes the customer is stupid. It's one of the reasons strippers don't make as much money as they used to ten years ago. Your short-term gain will become long-term failure
5. Never ask about his wife or girlfriend unless he brings it up.
6. If he's wearing one, do not stare at his wedding ring
7. Never, ever get caught staring at the inside of a guy's wallet when he's paying you.

BONDING

1. Listen sympathetically and nod: You're his best and only friend for now.
2. Ask clarifying questions: It shows you're interested.
3. Give regulars your anonymous e-mail: It's a safe way to keep in touch. Always respond to his emails even if just with quick thanks.
4. Sincerely ask him his advice about anything: It makes him feel appreciated and respected.
5. Have secrets together: Sex secrets work best. Tell him "no one else knows." If he doesn't tell you a secret, that's fine, because he's happy with yours.
6. Tell him you love his nose, eyes, whatever: Use the word love.
7. Make him happy:
8. Don't ever ask "Is something wrong?" it's nagging. His wife says that; that's why he's with you now.
9. If he's gotten three or more dances in a row, sit with him for awhile after he says "enough": It shows you've enjoyed your time with him. He is a potential regular.
10. Try not to ask "Why" questions, because it makes most people defensive; instead ask "what" or "how" questions.

DANCING

1. Tell him the house rules if he's new: Explain which rules are not strictly enforced. That tells him you're his friend.
2. Tell him one rule you want to break with him: Example: "You can kiss my bellybutton if you want to." That's your secret together.
3. Don't get chatty while you're in the middle of a lap dance with him: It makes you appear sexually uninteresting.
4. Ask him if he has any requests: You can always tell him if you'd feel uncomfortable doing it (just don't be judgmental). Maybe he wants you to leave your dress on. You never know.
5. Agree to mutually trust each other (Example: You'll bounce your nipples across his closed lips if he agrees not to munch). This can be a very powerful form of bonding.
6. Rub your thigh up and down on his zipper: Slightly harder on the upstroke. Nothing else feels better.
7. Let your crotch touch his if you want to: Do it late in the song so he wants more.
8. Slide down to your knees: Rub against him all the way.
9. Eskimo kiss during the slide: Rub noses and smile seductively.
10. Slide with a slight repeat: Move back up and down slightly when your crotch slides over his zipper. No one sees it but he'll love you for it.
11. Do a quiet little tremble when you slide: Guys think a dancer can get off on almost nothing if she likes the guy.
12. While on your knees, find his nipples: He'll tell you if he likes it.
13. When you're sideways, brush one of your nipples over his:
14. Rub the side of your head on his "head": Slide your nose on it, kiss it, whatever works for both of you. Start with the top of your head.
15. Use your eyes: Maintain eye contact as much as possible.
16. Smile at him seductively.
17. Use your face: Move it close to his. Hug his head gently.
18. Nuzzle his neck. Kiss it gently if the rules permit.
19. Use the back of your legs to squeeze his "zipper": It's easy but very few dancers do it.
20. Ask him if he wants to feel your butt: This is easy to sneak in after the dance. WARNING: Grabbing butt is the line of demarcation in some clubs.
21. Ask what he liked most: Learn to improvise for a customer within your comfort zone.
22. If he buys several dances, offer him a free one: It says you need to feel the relationship is not all about money. This can make dancers much more money in the long run.

OTHER SERVICES

1. Tell him you like non-alcoholic champagne: He can still order the expensive stuff and try to get you drunk. At least you gave him an option.
2. If you give backrubs, learn to give them CORRECTLY! Few things make a guy more annoyed, upset, and unhorny than a girl acting like she knows how to give backrubs while giving a really lousy one. If the club offers them, do it well. If guys like you but you don't turn them on, they might still ask you for backrubs.
3. Know the VIP card rules: If it doesn't benefit him, quietly tell him. He'll appreciate that.

SEX TALK

1. Be open and non-judgmental about sex.
2. Tell him he's handsome. Tell the truth about what you like about him.
3. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, never ask him why. Any guy that's been to a strip club more then three times has heard "You're so handsome, why don't you have a girlfriend?" It puts him on the defensive and makes him lose interest.
4. Tell him you won't do unsafe sex: That makes you a premium dancer. Lots of dancers get drunk and have no idea what they just did.
5. Talk about your breasts: Be shy, reveal half a nipple while sitting with him. Guys love good presentation.
6. If he asks about your enhanced breasts, downplay it: Tell him they feel comfortable and make you feel good about yourself.
7. Ask what size breasts he likes: With any kind of contact he likes yours best. One on one, most guys prefer 34B.
8. Ask him what he likes about you: This is valuable feedback for yourself.
9. Tell him (and yourself) it's okay if he isn't hard all the time: Maybe he can't be "friends" with you and get excited at the same time. Help him overcome his taboo feelings.
10. Whisper whatever you want: Let him whisper in your ear, too.

Pointers from a Sales Professional
The following hints are from an experienced, expensive sales consultant. If they read as if they were meant for dancers, it's simply because dancers are Sales Professionals as well. So, below is $1500 worth of advice:

1. In Sales, as in Life, how you feel about yourself, is more important than how others feel about you.
2. Smile when you are alone - it releases chemicals in your brain that keeps your spirits up.
3. Have a "Happy Thought" ready for moments when you really need a lift - it could be a child, an especially good day you once had, someone from your past, a movie you really liked, or even a favorite fantasy - something that is all good for you. Happy Thoughts aren't always obvious, so it's O.K. if it takes you a few days to come up with one.
4. Always speak with positive words (ex: don't say "hate", say "don't like") - it makes you much more attractive, and keeps you in much better spirits.
5. When you smile, pretend your eyes are smiling too.
6. When in doubt, relax, because physical and mental tension are directly related.
7. Never ask a client "why" questions - it puts them on the defensive. Ask "what" and "how" questions.
8. You can never tell how much power, authority, or money someone has by the way they dress.
9. You can always tell how much power, money, or authority someone has by the way they walk, sit down, and carry themselves.
10. Remember, a client is incapable of rejecting you - they can only reject your product. (Dancers, you are not your product - always remember that)
11. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
12. In my 18 years of sales experience I've interviewed literally hundreds of sales professionals, and one hard and fast rule I've discovered is this: every predatory sales person develops self-esteem problems, intense anxiety attacks, and issues with guilt, forgiveness, and insecurity.
    I have never seen even one exception to this. If you are predatory, you will eventually have emotional problems or run into someone with a "Don Quixote" Complex.
13. Remember, sooner or later, every con artist runs into someone with a "Don Quixote" Complex that dedicates his life to destroying the con artists'. No con artist ever believes this - until it's way too late.
14. There's no such thing as a happy old con artist.
15. These sales pointers are sound advice for when you're not selling.

GOOD-BYE

1. Tell him he made your day: Make him feel like your favorite.
2. Ask when he might be back: Tell him what times you usually work and whether that varies next week.
3. If he's a special customer, say "I always look forward to seeing you": That makes him feel special
4. Walk him to the door. He's already late and the escort makes him feel special - plus, no other dancer can get to him!

Strip Club Hints for Guys

1. She's not your friend, she's a stripper.